April Agent of the Month – Daniele Hunter – First Page Results

APRIL AGENT OF THE MONTH

Daniele Hunter – McIntosh & Otis

DANIELE HUNTER has a BA in English from Drew University, with concentrations in literary criticism, poetry, and creative writing. graduated from Binghamton University with a major in English and a minor in Anthropology. She is a member of the AALA and their DEI committee and co-directs their fellowship program through Literary Agents of Change.

She has been with the children’s department at McIntosh & Otis since a 2016 internship, and is thrilled to now be acquiring! I’m looking for (in order of priority) young adult, middle grade, and picture books. Her top priority is contemporary, but she’s also open to contemporary fantasy and sparingly considers genre fantasy/speculative, suspense, romance, and historical.

While her heart lives in contemporary stories, she also loves contemporary fantasy (as well as ghost stories) and is sparingly open to other genres.

Daniele says, “As an agent, I’ll be an author’s biggest cheerleader, and value open communication above all. I strive to be a safe space for marginalized identities/experiences but don’t force authors to disclose those to me. I’m always open to any accommodations authors need.

“I’ll be a mentor for my clients, helping them navigate the publishing industry even after an editor signs their books. I’m also extremely hands-on editorially! And though publishing is a business, I know that writing books (especially the dark, raw ones I fall for) is a very intimate endeavor, so I strive to connect with my clients not just on a professional level, but a personal one.

“Books saved me as a young reader, and now, my biggest goal as an agent is to help tell the “hard” stories, the off-the-beaten-track stories, that kids/teens who experience hardships or have underrepresented identities deeply need.”

YA and MG – Contemporary

This is my top priority. My favorite published books I’ve worked on are TOGETHER WE CAUGHT FIRE by Eva V. Gibson (YA) and THANKS A LOT, UNIVERSE by Chad Lucas (MG).

-Literary, lyrical writing. Prose or novels-in-verse welcome!

-“Dark and gritty”, “issue-driven”

-I also always appreciate moments of triumph and joy, especially for marginalized characters!

-Slice-of-life and coming-of-age

-Protagonist ages: 11-12 and upward (love college-aged protagonists, on the opposite end!)

-Voice-driven, character-focused

-BIPOC and/or LGBTQIA+ experiences

-Chronic illness and/or disability

-Mental health, neurodivergence

-Multiple POV or mixed-perspective

-Mixed media or multiple timelines

-Romance as a subplot

-Non-romantic relationship focus—friendship and found family, “friend break-up”, complicated family dynamics 

YA and MG – Genre

–Fantasy/speculative: Foremost, contemporary fantasy with lyrical writing and character focus. I’m open to near-future dystopian (but not post-apocalyptic) involving social critique and/or magic. Sparingly open to higher fantasy, if the world-building is detailed, atmospheric, and accessible. And though I’m not a fit for most supernatural or fantastical characters, I love ghost stories!

-Historical: Sparingly open; I prefer stories set in the nearer past. Lesser-told times in history, with a human-interest element alongside the historical education. 

-Thriller/suspense: Must be character- and voice-driven–I like more focus on character and lyricism than is most common for these genres. I like murder mysteries, especially with unconventional formats.

-Anthology: Sparingly interested, in both fiction and nonfiction.  

Picture books

 This will be the smallest part of my list. My favorite (soon-t0-be) published picture book I’ve worked on is THE HOLE by Lindsay Bonilla.

-Grief – Honest about the heavy parts; hopeful but not saccharine

-BIPOC and/or LGBTQIA+ – Anything from slice-of-life, to celebratory, to informative, to issue-based!

-Disability, in both fiction and nonfiction

-Diverse cultures, holidays, traditions, identities

-Sparingly open to bios; women, LGBTQIA+, and/or BIPOC subjects preferred

-Author-illustrators/teams!

-I prefer human narrators over animal narrators, but I’m not totally close to the latter.

Daniele is looking for lyrical, literary, voice-driven writing, and strongly prefers books in first-person (though she’s more open to third-person in picture books). Her top priorities are dark, issue-based books, and diverse authors and stories. For YA and MG, some areas of interest for her are LGBTQIA+, BIPOC, and disabled and/or chronically ill authors and stories, grief topics, novels-in-verse, relationship-based stories, mental health topics and neurodivergence, ghost stories, and multiple-POV or mixed-media stories. In picture books, she is also interested in these topics from fiction or nonfiction perspectives and is sparingly open to biography as well.

Daniele is not interested in any discriminatory topics, adult work, chapter books, early readers, lower MG, graphic novels/comics, Christian religious work, or rhyming picture books.

Query Daniele via Query Manager at this link: https://QueryManager.com/ddhunter/

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BELOW ARE TWO FIRST PAGE RESULTS:

Edgar the Dragon and the Iced Buns by Suzanne Bowditch – Contemporary MG Fantasy

Edgar the dragon’s cave was always damp and cold. It smelled awful too, of stale sardines and mildew. He barely noticed it, but it was strong, like stale socks and wet things. One fine morning, Edgar woke from his bed, stretching and yawning. He scratched his scaly belly and looked around. His cave looked the same, the floor covered in sardine cans and mouldy backpacks (those hikers were so careless with their things), yet something had changed.

Edgar checked the calendar on the cave wall. It was February.

How was he awake? He never woke until it was spring.

He lumbered over to the cave entrance. The valley spread out below him, the sound of bird calls, the wind whispering through the trees. Edgar frowned at the stream of water gushing down the mountainside. There were large puddles covering the lush grass.  Shouldn’t there be snow on the ground?

Edgar sat back (which can be difficult when you have sharp, pointy scales and a long tail), and pondered. His cave felt warm and stuffy, like a spring day.

What was going on? He rummaged around his cave (making sure to avoid the place where the dark things slept) and fished out his raincoat. He pulled it on –

–  then gave a start, his mouth agape. His snow wall had vanished! The solid ice wall that hid him from the outside world was now a pile of slush. Goodness, there was water everywhere.

Edgar heard a rumbling, groaning sound, close by – his belly! He shook his head, staring at the puddles and rubbing his empty belly.

That’s why he was awake.

HERE IS DANIELE:

Title of Manuscript EDGAR THE DRAGON AND THE ICED BUNS

Name of Author Suzanne Bowditch

Name of Reviewer Daniele Hunter

 Hi, Suzanne!

Thanks for sharing your interesting, immersive opening page with me. I think it will hook readers with its strong sensory descriptions and sense of pacing!

You do a nice job of introducing us to Edgar. So far, he seems to be a likable, sympathetic character, and one who embodies the value of thinking before he acts: When he wakes up too soon, hungry and confused, he doesn’t become angry, jump into hunting, or take his frustrations out on others; rather, he takes time to orient himself and puzzle through what’s happening.

The pacing is also working well so far! You strike balances: You have enough introduction to give us a sense of Edgar and his world, but not enough to bog down the narrative. Similarly, you introduce mystery and conflict early, but not so immediately that readers feel disoriented. You also do a nice job of introducing layers of conflict—there’s the immediate problem of Edgar’s hunger, but also the larger-scale problem of climate change melting his ice wall.

One thing I’d suggest adding—not necessarily on this first page, but soon after!—is some dialogue. Or, if Edgar isn’t going to meet other characters for a while, perhaps you could show us some of his thoughts. I think it would be helpful to get to hear his voice, both for getting readers attached to the character, and helping build momentum and maintain intrigue in the plot.

The narrative voice of your story feels very classic. You’ve also struck a nice balance for young readers with your writing style: Though you introduce some more complex vocabulary words, the straightforward style of narration still makes the text feel accessible for young readers. Keep this balance in mind as you’re writing and editing!

Though your first page is coming along nicely for the most part, I’d personally recommend clarifying some more of the details, to root readers more firmly within your story, its world, and its conflict. First, regarding world-building, some basic questions: What color is Edgar? Is he supposed to be an adult dragon, or a child—and further to this, what is his relative size? Are other dragons sharing his cave (like his parents or other adults, if he’s meant to be a child)? Are there other dragons nearby? What kinds of other creatures inhabit his world (e.g. what are the “dark things” you mention sleeping in his cave? Are there humans in this world?)?

And second, specifically regarding Edgar’s age: I’d keep in mind that the current children’s book market heavily favors books with child protagonists. If Edgar himself is meant to be more of an adult character, what else can you do to center children and child perspectives in this story?

Hoping these comments and questions are helpful to you, and wishing you luck!

Very best,

Daniele Hunter

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Monuments for America by Cecile Mazzucco-Than non-fiction picture book

In the 1890s, every city in America went mad for monuments. People wanted something big and permanent to remember their heroes. Sculptors worked as fast as they could to plan arches and pillars and towering figures in flowing robes. But, most monuments needed to be carved in stone before they could be placed in city parks, streets, or buildings, and most sculptors were not stone carvers. The best stone carvers lived in Italy. So, sculptors sent small clay models across the Atlantic Ocean, and all of America waited and waited and waited for huge figures chiseled out of granite or marble to come back. That is until six stone-carving brothers named Piccirilli left their father’s bottega and moved to New York.

At first, the brothers carved gravestones. People needed to be remembered. But did gravestones need to be so boring? Every day, over and over, the brothers carved nomi e date, putti i frutti. They sang as they worked, maybe even a making up a song like this:

Putti i frutti,	Cupids and fruit,
Belli o brutti.	plain or cute.
Per tutti i lutti,	For every sad loss,
Per tutti i gusti.	you’re the boss.
Non c’e rilutti.	We just carve the stone.
Ongi per tutti!	Working together, we’re never alone!

The brothers were more than a little homesick. In their father’s bottega, they carved whatever they wanted.  Furio and Orazio carved animals people wanted to pet. Masaniello carved flowers people wanted to smell. Attilio carved people that looked like they could dance away in the moonlight. His bust of their little sister Iole looked just like her. Ferruccio, the oldest brother, and Getulio, the youngest, carved everything, but Getulio always used marble.

HERE IS DANIELE:

Title of Manuscript MONUMENTS FOR AMERICA

Name of Author Cecile Mazzucco

Hello, Cecile!

Thank you for allowing me to read your first page from MONUMENTS FOR AMERICA. This is a unique and intriguing topic for a nonfiction picture book! It’s a lesser-known pocket of history that comes with inherent kid-appeal. (Also, as my mother’s family is Italian, I always appreciate seeing Italian and Italian-American history in books!)

Your writing is polished, straightforward, and clear, making the story accessible to young readers. However, I suspect you may need to revisit the length of your first paragraphs. First, I’d recommend staying cognizant of the overall story’s length: In my experience with the current picture book market, most editors prefer nonfiction picture books to stay around the 1,000-word mark (a little over is probably okay, but I wouldn’t personally recommend more than about 1,100 words!). So, with relatively few words to work with, you may find that too many words are being taken up by your introductory information, or by the song, and that these elements need to be trimmed.

And second, I’d recommend focusing in on what you want the heart of your story to be, which will help decide the lengths of individual passages. Is this mainly a story about monuments in a more general sense? Or is it mainly a story about the Piccirilli brothers?

On that note, I really enjoyed your later passage introducing the brothers, telling readers more about their styles of sculpture. I think it’s so intriguing to get to know people by way of their artistic passions. This is strong storytelling! So, if you want the brothers to be the main focus of the story, you may find it’s necessary to streamline your opening material. This would allow you to introduce the brothers sooner, and put more of a focus on them within the story.

Finally, I just wanted to make one small sensitivity note: I’d recommend removing the phrase “went mad for” in the first sentence. Though I understand that it’s nice alliteration, many disability activists consider this phrase to be harmful because it perpetuates the stigmatization of mental health conditions.

Thank you again for allowing me to spend time with your fascinating story! I hope my thoughts on the first page are helpful to you.

Very best,

Daniele Hunter

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Thank you, Daniele, for taking the time to be April’s Agent of the Month and sharing your expertise with us. I know everyone appreciated it and has enjoyed meeting you. See you at the Spring Virtual Writer’s Retreat.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy