Posted by: Kathy Temean | December 20, 2020

Picture Book Pitch Ideas

HERE ARE TWO PITCH SUBMISSIONS SENT INTO MIRA.

Marilyn Wolpin

The recipe for an immigrant’s success story: 400 lb. of butter, 400 lb. of sugar, 3000 eggs, 400 lb. of flour plus one Jewish immigrant baker equals a two-ton, 30-layer birthday cake for an American president, layered with hardship and drive; iced with gratitude and patriotism. Mayron Keizerstein believed in the “goldene medina” (golden land) and this is the true story of how he realized his dream and then some.

MIRA

Marilyn, I love this. I looked him up and found this: https://forward.com/culture/432858/how-my-uncle-myer-baked-jfks-44th-birthday-cake/ What a fascinating character and story. My only concern is that these days you need a plot with a bio, which this doesn’t seem to have so I added the extra difficulties at the end and in your actual biography you’d need to briefly establish the obstacles he had to overcome in the beginning in coming to America and then the challenges and failures he had to overcome in trying to bake this extraordinary cake for 6,000 people! Wow!!! I really hope you take our course and sign up for a critique with Kar-Ben Editor/Publisher Joni Sussman. Some other places to submit are Calkins Creek (American history) and Creston Books. Also see if you can weave some metaphors into the cake itself. It could add another layer.

Rewrite:

The recipe for an immigrant’s success story: 400 lb. of butter, 400 lb. of sugar, 3000 eggs, 400 lb. of flour plus one Jewish immigrant baker equals a two-ton, 30-layer birthday cake for JFK’s 44th birthday. Layered with hardship and drive; iced with gratitude and patriotism. Mayron Keizerstein believed in the “goldene medina” (golden land) in this true story of how he personified the American dream despite great difficulties in baking a cake for 6,000 people.

*******

Rosi Hollinbeck

Iris is having a hard time fitting in at her new preschool. When the children see a rainbow, Iris wants to become a rainbow so everyone will notice her. Her parents tell her all the reasons she cannot be a rainbow, but Iris persists and finally finds a way to achieve her goal. Iris the Rainbow Girl is a 641-word picture book for children 3-6 years old.

MIRA

Hi Rosi, lovely to see you here. This sounds like a really cool way to explore rainbows and STEM through a plot-driven fiction book. Your pitch is fine but I tweaked it a little to add subtext. Maybe Iris wants to be seen as beautiful as part of being acknowledged and seen. I’m also hoping you include STEM in this as well. And I really encourage you to edit it down into the 500 word count area if you can.

Rewrite:

Iris is having a hard time fitting in at her new preschool. When a beautiful rainbow appears in the sky, Iris decides to become a rainbow so everyone will notice her. She knows that with a name like Iris there has to be a way. Her parents tell her the many reasons she cannot be a rainbow, but Iris persists and finally finds a way to achieve her goal. Iris the Rainbow Girl is a 641-word picture book for children 3-6 years old with lots of STEM.

*******

Check back on January 6th for the last Picture Book Pitch Ideas post.

Thank you Mira for doing this. Enjoy the rest of this year and have a great, mentoring workshop in January.

Talk tomorrow,

Kathy


Responses

  1. Thanks, Mira, for your very helpful comments!

    Like

  2. These are great examples of pitches–thank you Mira for working your magic on these pitches!

    Like


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Categories

%d bloggers like this: