Posted by: Kathy Temean | November 1, 2017

Picture Book Opportunity: First Page Critique by Alli Brydon

Alli Brydon is a creative editorial professional and writer based in the New York City area. She has nearly 15 years of experience developing and editing children’s books for U.S. publishing houses. Having worked as both an acquiring editor and an agent for children’s book authors and illustrators, she brings a unique blend of skills to all projects. While her specialty is in children’s books, Alli is available to hire for any of your editing and writing needs.

Alli agreed to critique 4 Picture Book First Pages: Today is the second of the four.



On her web site, Alli says, “Whether you’re an author looking to self-publish or get noticed by agents and publishers, or you’re an in-house editor with too much on your plate right now, let me make your words sparkle! With nearly 15 years of professional experience as a children’s book industry insider, I am the expert you need to help you craft, edit, and polish your words.”

Alli is an editor, writer, publishing market expert, meticulous proofreader, salesperson, and project manager.  Having worked with almost every publishing house in the US and UK as both editor and literary agent, she has unique knowledge of the many facets of the industry.

She grew up in a family of visual artists, wordsmiths, and readers, who nurtured both the creative and detail-oriented sides of her personality. After she earned her MFA in Poetry from Sarah Lawrence College in 2005, her passion for economical language and evocative imagery led her to a career in children’s book publishing. Equally at home at an art museum or in the library, at the beach or on the ski slopes, reading children’s books with her kids or writing them in her spare time, binging Game of Thrones or hiking in the woods near her Westchester, NY home—Alli balances life with work, perseverance, and good ol’ ink, sweat, & laughs!

Services For Publishers, Authors, Illustrators, and Other Professionals

Developmental and Substantive Editing

Writing/Content Development

Copy Editing


Photo Research

Book Proposal Consultation

Query Letter Critique

Illustrator Portfolio Review

Illustrator Web Site Review

Coaching in Picture Book Writing

Contact Alli to discuss your project and ask about rates:


In the subject line, please write “2017 First Page Picture Book Critique” and paste the text in the email, plus attached it as a Word document to the email. Please make sure you include your name, the title of the piece, and confirm it’s a picture book at the top on both the email and the Word document (Make sure you include your name with the title of your book, when you save the first page).



Your First Page Word document should be formatted using one inch margins and 12 point New Times Roman font – double space – no more than 23 lines – only one page. Send to: kathy(dot)temean(at)gmail(dot)com.

PLEASE FOLLOW THE GUIDELINES: Your submission will be passed over if you do not follow the directions for both the pasted email and the attached Word doc. This is where most people mess up.

Please check back next Wednesday for critique number three.

Talk tomorrow,



  1. Check out the comments on the rhyming. It has to be PERFECT! c: 973-769-6299p: 908-689-1818

    From: Writing and Illustrating To: Sent: Wednesday, November 1, 2017 12:05 AM Subject: [New post] Picture Book Opportunity: First Page Critique by Alli Brydon #yiv8272520007 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv8272520007 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv8272520007 a.yiv8272520007primaryactionlink:link, #yiv8272520007 a.yiv8272520007primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv8272520007 a.yiv8272520007primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv8272520007 a.yiv8272520007primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv8272520007 | Kathy Temean posted: “Alli Brydon is a creative editorial professional and writer based in the New York City area. She has nearly 15 years of experience developing and editing children’s books for U.S. publishing houses. Having worked as both an acquiring editor and an” | |


  2. Gosh, I really loved this story and could picture the illustrations. And I really loved Allie’s feedback. it made sense especially because there were examples of why and what to do to make it richer. So Yay! Get those revisions done and submit it!!! 🙂


  3. Such a lovely little story!


  4. I love the premise of this book! And this critique is outstanding! SO helpful 😀 Thanks to both Kathy, the author, and Alli. Great stuff! Totally sharing this with the “world” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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