Posted by: Kathy Temean | July 17, 2014

Pitch is Concept

artshow jasonSHORE sketch 6

This Team Sand Castle Contest was illustrated by Jason Kirschner and won Honorable Mention Unpublished Illustrator Award at the NJSCBWI Artist Showcase.

erikaphoto-45Hello all! Jersey Farm Scribe here. Last time we talked I was giving you my take away on how to Attack a Conference. I promised I’d tell you some of the specific, tangible things I learned at the NJ SCBWI.

So here is one of the biggest:


It seems so simple. But I hadn’t thought of it like this before.

Pitch IS Concept.

I took Jill Corcoran’s workshop on concept and selling through to readers. I wasn’t sure what I expected, but I knew Jill is revered for her grasp of plot and revisions. I’ve been over her website A Path to Publishing, quite a few times, and gotten invaluable information from her blog, so I was ready to see what she had to say in person.

One of the first things that struck me was how interchangeably she seemed to use the words “pitch” and “concept.”

To me, pitch was what you practice saying over and over to be prepared to present my idea to one of the editors and agents walking around. It was what I put in the beginning of my query letter. That elevator, two or three sentence wrap of what my book was.

Concept was…. actually, to be honest I hadn’t really thought about it.

As Jill said in the workshop, and as she explains in the beginning of her free video on PlotWriMo (Revise your novel in a month), the CONCEPT is how you’d convince someone to read your book.

Okay, so that means it’s what’s the book about, right?

Well… yes and no.

If I want to go see a movie, and I have to convince other people to want to go see it, what would I say? What makes it special? What draws me to want to see it? Why should someone else want to see it?

That’s more than going over the plot. It’s more than what happens, or who the main characters are. It’s what gives the movie meaning, substance, interest and originality.

And that’s not easy to do in a few sentences!! As Kathy has said, write it all out first. go back to cut and condense.

But how do we know if we’re cutting the right things?

In the workshop, a few of us read our “pitch” to Jill. And a common theme in her response was, “You’re not really TELLING me anything. I know you think you are. But you’re not.”

A lot of it came down to specifics. The pitch has a reader. That reader needs to know what’s going on. It’s a book about heroism! Great. But how so? The kids are going to save the world? Excellent. But WHY? What’s wrong with the world in the first place? Shelby finds herself confused and alone. Okay. But why? And who isn’t? So what’s so special about her confusion?

So how to attack punching up the concept/pitch? I learned to do three things:

1) How will a publisher SELL the book? I hadn’t really thought about this before either. At all. It was especially meaningful for me, because I have a chapter book with a surprise ending. Sure, a surprise can be great. But TOO much surprise makes for a pretty weak back flap on the back of book! How do you sell that?

I don’t want a publisher sitting there thinking. “Yeah, it’s great. But I can’t TELL potential readers why it’s so great or else it’ll ruin the whole thing!”

You’re looking for a pretty serious commitment from someone, whether it’s an agent, editor, publisher, or even the final buyer of the book. Whatever is going to make them go: THIS IS IT! This is the next book I want to my devote time and money to! That’s your concept. That’s your pitch.

Then it’s time to examine it closer:

2) One line at a time:

I read each sentence of my pitch at a time. Then ask myself, WHY?

Four fearless friends save a town from despair.

Okay. There is some element of plot in there. But honestly, the fact is, there is probably millions of stories this could be describing. So let’s see… why? Why do they do it?

What drives them to do it? How much despair are we talking about? Can I express that level of despair in just a few more words?

3) One WORD at a time:

Once I have the sentences I want to say on paper and I’m confident with WHAT they say, it’s time to look at HOW they say it. Am I using the right words?

We only have so many words we get to use in a pitch. And let’s be honest, as someone brought up in the comments of my last pitch, being specific leads to a longer pitch. It’s just a fact. So every word is even more important. Let’s look at the beginning of that same line:

Four fearless friends…….

Four: Does it really matter that there are four of them? Probably not. Maybe I can replace it with something more meaningful.

Fearless: Really? I couldn’t have done better than that? How did I ever think that sounded good?


Every single word gets analyzed, condensed, replaced, sometimes even re-envisioned entirely, which ends up leading me back to step one and starting all over again.


…….Sigh. It’s definitely not my favorite part of the process.

But Jill’s workshop really made me feel like now, I have a plan of attack, a process, specific, tangible things to look for, to look at and to strikethrough.

And again, you know I’m a big believer that, well…. our manuscripts are worth it!

Thank you Erika for another great article to help all of us improve our skills.

Talk tomorrow,



  1. Thanks for the great post, Erika! I didn’t get to attend Jill Corcoran’s concept workshop (because there were just so many great ones to choose from!) but heard non-stop fro other attendees how incredibly helpful (and a little scary) it was for stripping down a pitch to the core concept and building it up again stronger and more eloquent.
    I’d recommend that anyone who wants more of this great support and advice join the Path to Publishing Facebook group and consider one of their video series. Path to Publishing is also launching 1-day live video workshops for concept/pitch. I’m trying to clear my schedule for one right now!


    • Thanks Katey! And I def agree, their videos are great! Jill and Martha are amazing. You can go to to check it out. They have a great Facebook group too like Katey said.


  2. I remember Jason’s adorable illustration well! Just love it 🙂

    And, hey, Erika! 😀 I love your guest posts here 🙂 Breaking things down to make them truly understood is the BEST way to help/teach others what may be the best or easiest method. This is all so true. I’ve heard it said (and follow this, too), that a pitch is like a movie trailer. I agree! You get enough of what drives the story in a very concise “in your face” kind of way, which is ultimately the concept, right? You want/need to whet someones curiosity, just the way a title of a blog post will compel someone to “click” and read 🙂

    Thanks for sharing this 😀


    • Movie trailer, I love it! A teaser! Make someone want to read/watch/click/listen… more, more MORE! 🙂

      Thanks so much!


      • Glad I could be of help, too, Erika 🙂 I sincerely wish I could tell you where and through whom I heard that!


  3. Another super post. This IS what sells our stories! (Bummer that I didn’t meet you at NJ SCBWI!!)


  4. Thanks for the post, Erika, and what a wonderful illustration by Jason! I’ll definitely save this post for future reference.


  5. Thanks for sharing Erica – This is very helpful information.
    And Jason, I just love (all) your work and that illustration is amazing. You are so very talented, so happy have gotten to know you!


  6. Your blogs about pitches are great. Reviewing them today for myself and my writing students. Thanks!


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